Spotlight on Sonia Sotomayor
Dick Valentine (HF News International)Confirmation hearings begin this week on Judge Sotomayor's appointment to the Supreme Court. Here are a few facts you might not know about her.
1 - Sotomayor first came into the public spotlight in 1989 after winning acclaim at the annual New Mexico Churros and Chilies Cookoff. She won the blue ribbon in both the churro and chili competition, dethroning long time champion George Lopez.
2 - Contrary to popular belief, Judge Sotomayor is not a racist; she just thinks that Latinos are genetically superior to Whites, Blacks, and most Asians.
3 - Sotomayor as been called a bully on the bench by her colleagues after repeatedly stealing their lunch money and threatening to give them black eyes if they tell their parents.
4 - Has been known to question Latino litigants in fluent Spanish in order to make them feel more comfortable in court. She does the same for litigants whose primary language is Pig Latin.
5 - If appointed, Judge Sotomayor would be the first woman on the Supreme Court, due to the fact that Justice O’Connor is a cyborg and Justice Ginsburg is clearly a man.
6 - As a traditionalist, Judge Sotomayor is against abortion and prefers a return to the ancient Greek custom of allowing parents to cast their children off a cliff, if done before naming the child or before the child’s first birthday, which ever happens sooner.
7 - Although she attended a private Catholic school as a young girl, and was technically a Catholic school girl, she was the quiet awkward kind, not the sexy naughty kind. Several historical fiction films have been dedicated to pursuing the mystery of what the world would be like if she had turned out to be the sexy naughty kind instead.
8 - Despite overcoming her difficult Hispanic upbringing Judge Sotomayor has yet to achieve the coveted “white person” status that other famous minority Judges such as Justice Clarence Thomas and Justice Anthony Kennedy have attained.
9 - Sotomayor has stated: “I would hope that a wise Latina woman, with the richness of her experiences, would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life.” She recently clarified that statement by explaining that she had merely tripped on her words and had intended to say “Death to the white devil!"
10 - She is ugly. Really, really ugly.
