Teenage Pregnancy (No, He Doesn't Love You)
by Johnny HolidayNo, he doesn't love you. He doesn't imagine what your future together will be like, he doesn't want to marry you, and he doesn't want to be with your forever.
He might not even really want to be with you right now.
What he wants is for you to let him put his penis inside you, and then go play Halo with his friends.
His guy friends. Because they don't bitch and complain as much as you do.
Forget arguing about the effectiveness of sex ed in schools or whether or not they should give out free condoms. There would be no epidemic of teenagers engaging in unprotected sex if somebody could just get that one simple idea through your stupid daughters' skulls.
People say things like, "Boys only want one thing." Technically, that is incorrect.
Boys want action, tail, pooty, banging, shagging, coochie, muff, poon, to f*!# you, your bojangle, origami (if by "origami", I actually mean "sex")... in short, your vagina.
He wants to bone you, or at least get a rub and a happy ending, and failing that, he'd be content just to catch a peek down your shirt so he can tell his friends about it.
And he will tell his friends about it.
And in case you're still confusing lust for love, no matter how many times he says he loves you, no matter how many special moments you've shared, or how much you do to show you love him, he would still love to get a piece of your sister, your best friend, Angalina Jolie, and a lifelike blow-up doll that he is thinking about buying if you don't start putting out soon.
The only reason he isn't trying *unless he is* is that he is either - A) Not confident enough or B) afraid of physical harm to his man business.
Oh, and he will lie to you about it to your face. All of it.
Now that you know the truth, at least make your skeezy boyfriend bag it before you open up for him.
