Say Enough Stupid Things Very Loudly, and Suddenly You're an Anti-Semite
by Johnny HolidayNoone wants to become an anti-semite, you wake up one day and it just kind of happened, and you don't have any explanation for it.
Kind of like the weird rash you got on your unmentionables shortly after you got lucky with Sarah Jefferson in the tenth grade, which, by the way, you really should get checked out.
Whenever I hear talk in the news of alleged discrimination that is absolutely ridiculous (Henry Gates), I end up spending most of the day thinking about how much I hate Jesse Jackson.
That naturally leads into thinking about how much I hate Al Sharpton, which leads into me thinking of all the stupid people who became famous because of how loudly they say the stupid things that they say.
Jesse Jackson
Likes - Black American civil rights movement
Dislikes - Jews
Fun fact: A founding member of Rainbow PUSH (People United to Save Humanity), Jackson originally intended to call the group Rainbow BUSH (Blacks United to Save Humanity), but later thought better of it.
Al Sharpton
Likes - What Jesse Jackson likes
Dislikes - Jews, paying taxes
Yearbook quote: "What I do functionally is what Dr. King [did]. Unless your a mormon, a Greek homo, or one of them damn Jews with their yarmulkes."
Ann Coulter
Likes - Republicans
Dislikes - Jews, democrats
Did you know? Ann Coulter wishes she could be a major controversial figure, but just doesn't have the cajones.
Mel Gibson
Likes - Movies, alcohol
Dislikes - Jews
Fun fact: Mel Gibson, an actor, makes movies, in which he acted.
Baby Hitler
Likes - World domination
Dislikes - Jews, Italians
Yearbook quote: "I should have allied with Czechoslovakia."
Joseph Stalin
Likes - Communism, Long walks on the beach
Dislikes - Jews, capitalism, religion, people who screw with him
Did you know? Joseph Stalin was one scary bastard.
What do these people all have in common? If you said that they all invaded Poland at one time or another, then you obviously came in at the tail end of the list.
The correct answer is "anti-semetism."
I am not saying that Henry Gates is an anti-semite. I am just saying, I wouldn't be surprised.
