How to Know when Someone is Cheating
by Johnny HolidayHow to know if your girlfriend is cheating
1 - She is more excited to go to the gym than the mall.
2 - She starts stretching 30 minutes before the mail is supposed to show up.
3 - She keeps losing panties at the grocery store.
4 - No one shakes your hand anymore they just put their hand on your shoulder and ask if you're all right.
5 - You suddenly get chlamydia a year into your relationship.
6 - She starts apartment shopping without you.
7 - You ask what she did today and all she does is smile.
How to know if the girl you stalk is cheating
1 - She starts shutting the curtains while she changes.
2 - She doesn't open the door, even when you know she is home.
3 - After you've called her twice just to breathe heavily into the phone when she answers, she doesn't answer a third time.
4 - You kidnap her dog and she won't respond to your ransom note.
How to know if your underage girlfriend is cheating
1 - She is unusually quiet during arts and crafts.
2 - She isn't returning your sexually explicit texts.
3 - You catch her passing notes to little Mikey during social studies.
4 - The back of her notebooks have the name "Tom" written inside a heart with an arrow through it.
How to know if you are cheating
1 - You use Chrome's incognito mode when browsing the web.
2 - You recently joined an online dating site to find love.
3 - You lie to your significant other about what you are doing and who you are doing it with.
4 - Your number three speed dial entry for "Mom Cell" actually calls the number for the local escort service.
5 - When you say you are away on business trips, you are actually are heading over to your ex's place.
6 - You are sleeping with someone other than your wife or girlfriend.
