Inglourious Basterds: Spotlight on Brad Pitt
by Johnny HolidayWith the upcoming release of Quentin Tarantino's lastest masterpiece, Inglourious Basterds, Humor Fetish shines its spotlight on the man behind the movie.
Brad Pitt 101
Fun fact - Brad Pitt is the only man ever to be diagnosed as chronically sexy. He is also the only chronically sexy man ever to be diagnosed with ED.
Sex - Despite having been married to Jennifer Aniston and living with Angelina Jolie for several years, Brad claims to still be saving himself for you. That's right, he is saving himself for you.
Legal troubles - In a recent altercation with police (possibly involving alcohol), Pitt was hit seven times with tasers set to lethal potency, was shot once in both ankles, and still managed to rip the beating heart out of all three officers involved in the incident.
The failure of the local district attorney's office to prosecute the case has led many to question whether or not celebrities are getting off easy for "crimes" that "others would be prosecuted for."
The case has also left many questioning their own manhood.
Favorite lead - Tyler Durden (Fight Club).
Unbeknownst to most Fight Club fans, Brad Pitt originally rejected the role of the narrator's alter-ego Tyler Durden, claiming that the character "just doesn't have enough balls" and that he would rather play the part of a redheaded step child than that of Durden.
After several script rewrites, a change in directors, and savagely ripping the intestines of the original director out of the man's own mouth and then setting them on fire, Pitt finally accepted the role on the condition that he not be required to mention the word "flacid" which was originally scripted to be used upwards of twenty seven times).
